Gratitude.

Today I feel very grateful.

I am grateful that I have had such a BIG reminder that people are inherently good and kind and altruistic. It is so easy to get lost in the negative, the bad, the "people suck" mind-set that sometimes it takes a big, giant bitch-slap in the face to remind me/us that, you know what? There are a lot of good people out there. (Insert "Up With People" video clip here.)

People were rooting for us that have never even met us. People offered money to us that have never met us. People put their jobs on the line to support us. People listened to this seemingly never-ending story that frankly, even I am bored of. People never wavered in their support of us. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

As you can tell I am in a great mood today. I feel alive, relaxed, comforted.

My son is now safe and out of harms way for the time being.

After months and months of working with the school district and the Department of Mental Health -- I was able to secure out of state residential treatment / boarding school for my son for the next 12 months. Fully paid. A $150,000 gift. He will be safe for now, this much I know. If he choses to accept this great opporunity that he's been given he may even come out of this sober, strong, healthy, self-confident and with a new purpose in life and, drum-roll, a high school diploma.

Whew. What a journey it has been getting to this point. The approval came at the IEP/AB3632 hearing on Tuesday, May 31 and on Saturday, June 4 at 4:30 a.m. he was "escorted" to a Delta flight to Utah to his new school Heritage, in Provo. (Never thought I would say this but "thank you Mormons!" But I do love Donny Osmond, even though he never came to my 9th birthday party even after I sent him an invitation. I forgive you Donny.)

The days between Tuesday and Saturday morning were spent trying to be "normal." (I now realize what an amazing actress I am (maybe that will be my newest career goal), another "glass half-full" way of trying to find any good of loving and living with an addict).

But behind the "normal" days (we even saw two movies--comedies of course!) I spent many hours jetting out to many non-existent errands so I could sit in my hot car and make all the phone calls without him knowing. He's like a shape shifter: he can sneak up behind me like a silent Ninja--and it's quite scary how he does this. Anyhow, making calls from my "mobile office" seemed safer.

After being on pins-and-needles for days, trying to pack up his belongings without him knowing ("mom, where are all my pants?") the transport company came at 4:30 am on Saturday to get him. After waking him up "what, what? what's happening?" and trying to explain the situation, the two big burly guys -- great and very calming despite their size -- got him out of the house and into the car and on the plane and into a rental car and then into the new school, safely.

Reports from yesterday is that he was mellow, quiet and was "making friends." I am sure they say that to all the parents but you know what? I'm glad they did. I like to believe that story for now.

After they left I read all his text messages. Days after his OD on heroin last week he was looking for needles and "h". The kid he normally got this poison from now sits in jail on charges he made pipe bombs. That kid is the bane of my existence and I've written about him in earlier posts.

But I digress: since Max couldn't get his "h" and needles from bomb-making drug addict (who had a 19 year old friend die on his bedroom floor just a few weeks ago from chocking on his own vomit due to heroin) my son actually wrote to this kid he knows who is a diabetic and asked him for needles "even used ones." So fucking sad.

His other text messages: one where he asked someone how to "smoke crack" because "it's not working." Another one: "trying to make tweek". Another one where he's trying to get out of getting beaten up because he owes someone either $95 or "bars" (xanax) "i got jacked". Right. I hope that person doesn't come looking for his money.

Reading these texts just made me realize that even though he's been actually really great these past few days, I got him to safety just in time.

He is clearly on a suicide mission.

I can rest knowing that, for now at least, that mission has been aborted.

I know this is not the end of this journey but it is a nice break for now.