Mother's Day -- Not Father's Day.

Up and Down. Up and Down. So it goes. Max hasn't run away from the "residential treatment center" so I take that as a good sign. However, he's only got 2 weeks left then what? I hate to say it but I am getting used to him not being here, at home, where he truly does belong. Does that make me a bad mother? No. I think it makes me human which are pretty adaptable creatures. I do want him back, but I would much prefer if the version I got back is the sweet, kind, funny, compasionate, helpful, smart, loving kid that I know resides within his sullen, sad, hostile self that is currently going through rehab.

Max and I did have a nice mother's day. We even got to go out to lunch and it was one of the best mother's days I've had in years. He was polite, funny and actually ate a tone of food (always points in my book since he's such a picky eater). Mother's Day fell on a Sunday which followed a Saturday which was the day his dad came to visit from 600 miles away. That was a miracle in and of itself. I think the visit was a big joke to Max's dad because everything is a big joke to him.

We had what they call "multi-family group therapy" on Saturday. I was happy that some of the pressure would be off me and surely onto Max's dad. I was right. Max point-blank asked his dad why he has never told him he loves him. You could hear a pin drop. Of course, the dad, muddled and messed up that he is, couldn't quite answer the question. He tried to say the right things: "You are brilliant Max! You can learn Spanish! You can learn to play an instrument! You can be a success!" -- sadly he couldn't just say three simple words: "I love you." which is really all that Max wanted to hear. Another mother from accross the room said directly to the dad "he's being very clear on what he wants! Just tell him you love him!" Glad someone else said this. A total stranger no less. I've been saying it for years but for some sick reason it just doesn't sink into Max's dad's very messed up brain. (God I hope he gets therapy soon before it's too late. Oh wait, he's already 60. Forget it.)

Heavy duty day. I won't even talk about the other very sad issues that came that day. I just truly wish that Max had a better male role model.

Life goes on and it's up to US mothers to help break the destructive cycle that infests quite a few of our male species.